Monday, April 30, 2012

Happy Anniversary!

8 years together. Happy Anniversary honey - I love you!

Monday, April 16, 2012

First Daylong Retreat
I'd been planning for my best friend's 40th birthday for some time now, wanting to give her something very special. I'd heard of Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Marin for quite some time now, and thought that a day long retreat with her would be the perfect gift.

I've also been attending Insight Meditation Center talks in both Oakland and Berkeley, and basically Spirit Rock is the "mothership" of these centers, so I had a good idea of the teachings. I'd also heard the teacher of our daylong, Sharda Rogell, give talks on DharmaSeed via podcast.

The previous week had nasty weather, the most spectacular thunder and lightning storm we'd seen in years was only two days previous to our day trip. But Saturday could not have been more beautiful: crystal blue sky, crisp breeze and warm sun. The land on Spirit Rock is gorgeous, just look at the photo! 

A small flock of wild turkeys were strutting around and the male was all puffed out, showing off his stuff to the ladies. He was magnificent!

Without going into too much detail, our day consisted of talks, sitting meditation and walking meditation. I learned that I should work with my laziness by rescheduling meditation times when necessary and not scolding myself until I actually DO something (or don't do something as the case may be).

The talks were about letting go and trusting that everything will be OK because we don't really know what REALITY really is. Just being here now, coming back and being mindful, and trusting. That's the whole point of my journey.

I was able to define my journey style, so to speak. This inner adventure of mine is just to see what happens. No goals, no concerns if I'm "doing it right" or not. Just giving it a try, keeping at it, and seeing what happens. I liken it to me being a little bug on a leaf, carried away by a stream. The Dharma Stream as Sharda called it. :) I like that.

This was a great day for Mellie, too, she enjoyed the talks, got to practice her meditation posture, contributed to conversation, and loved the environment. We both ate delicious Indian food afterward and ended our experience that night when I dropped her off at her place.

Everything went perfectly. It couldn't have been better. Thank you.

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

Spring Break Plans (That Never Materialized)

This year for spring break we've decided to just stay home. In the past, we had some goals for spring break 2012.

The first was to be moved back to Bangkok for a few years. Yeah, I had it in my head over a year ago that by spring 2012 we'd be moving and ready to start the new Thai school year that commences in May. That certainly never happened! Funny how things change... My husband doesn't want to go now because of possible political upheaval. He says the country is on the brink of some major sh!t going down and wants to say far, far away.

Another idea I had in my head was to go visit my sister in Chicago. I've always wanted to see Chicago. I never pursued it fully and now spring break is here and it's not going to happen this time around. This is mostly because we're still just getting better in our finances and more sure footing would be better before taking a "real" vacation.

And speaking of a real vacation, if the job scene is looking better for my husband and my online business continues to improve, then we may consider going back to Thailand for a visit. I would love for Aidan to attend Daroonpat for a few weeks and take some trips this time. I'd like him to visit the beach and to take a day trip to Ayutthaya.

I feel very stagnant, but I do not dwell on this. I've been working more on improving income so that we don't HAVE to be stagnant any longer - got to work on goals in the right order after all! That is a mistake I've made in the past and it gets a person nowhere.

What is your story with goals that never materialize? How do you deal with feeling stagnant?