Sunday, July 01, 2012

Summer Happenings

Since Aidan got out of "regular" school a few weeks ago, I've been spending a majority of my time with him. It's given me some time to think about the direction my life has taken and I'll sum it up as follows.


Golf is getting on board for a healthier lifestyle and I couldn't be happier. But our eating schedules are exactly opposite as are our sleeping habits, and that is a challenge.

I need to lose at least 15 pounds, preferably 20,  and it's becoming an urgent matter, mostly because I can't stand myself any longer. A friend of mine at the Thai temple says she simply does not eat after 4 pm. I like her idea and I'm considering giving it a try. However, Golf eats his main meal at night and if I have to cook, I will have to forbid myself to eat a bite.  Maybe I will have to eat a nice salad before 4 o'clock and then I won't be tempted.

I'd like to know if you've successfully committed to a lifestyle change regarding food when having to cook for your family. How did you do it?

I still juice every day, and now Golf's interested in joining me, so I've been getting lots of fresh produce at Berkeley Bowl for good prices and running them through the juicer every morning. I drink a liter of juice and I give a pint to Golf, who is still getting used to the taste.

I have not yet done a juice fast, because I think it might be too challenging having to fix meals for Aidan and Golf, but I might check out the Reboot forum to see if anybody there is doing that and finding support.

But I still get very tired, and I think that part of it is my mental state regarding work.


I feel utterly defeated with my online businesses. Last month gave me a total of $365 in earnings after 3 years of hard work. I don't have to tell you what kind of ROI that is. I have three websites right now and I'm letting one go. I'm not doing much with the other two because I feel so badly about them. The business model sucks, that's all I can say, and every webmaster and business owner is a slave to Google's whims. That's the bottom line and I don't want it any more.

The new business venture is definitely promising, and it incorporates art and writing. I am enthusiastic about the possibilities and I already have a story and am working on the preliminary sketches.

But instead of going at the task wholeheartedly with vim and vigor, I prefer to chat with other moms at the temple. When I do work I get sidetracked easily and find excuses to do something else. What is going on here?

I feel like I'm floating in some sort of weird void when it comes to financially contributing to the family. This has been an issue ever since we moved back from Thailand and it's a spiritual/emotional block I need to work through. Maybe I'm still reeling over my online failure.


I'm supposed to be meditating every day. I don't.
When Aidan was in regular school I would meditate every morning, but something about his summer schedule is not making me do it. I have plenty of time during the three days he's off, but instead I check FaceBook and now I'm writing in my blog.

When he goes to Thai school I am pretty good about sitting for half an hour in the main room, so I do feel good about that and it is helpful.

I have been listening to inspiring dharma talks where I want to work on myself and also change the world. But I also feel like I can't do much when my first responsibility is to take care of my family. And my family is my priority, so all things in good time. I'm not stressed about it, for taking care of Golf and Aidan gives me so much peace and satisfaction. It feels wonderful.

And so these are the three areas in my life that need some work. Writing it down gives it clarity and I see what I need to do. Hmm.. maybe once summer vacation is over, I'll update this to chart my progress.

1 comment:

Catherine said...

Amy, on the issue of weight... last year I took it off using HCG. It was the most amazing experience. The diet retrained my eating habits so it's not just about losing, it's about maintaining. I used to know what made me fat but apparently, as we age our bodies change. So what makes you gain in your 30's can be different that your 20's. The HCG diet walks you through the process, so by the time you finish, you know what makes you fat. It also shows you how to take off splurges. I've never felt better :-)

Meditation... I've been trying to get a schedule going for years. Sigh. So if you find the secret, please share .

I know others who are now struggling to revamp their online businesses. They came to Thailand with the hope that their online income would pay for their overhead and now they are panicing. What to do? I've read that selling an actual product is the way to go. Dunno.

Good luck Amy. I'm sure that whatever you do will work out.