Strange dreams of being overwhelmed

It all began last night, when Golf and I went to his nephew's 5th birthday party. His neice has two sons and a baby daughter, and it was the older son's birthday (making him, what, Golf's grand-nephew?). Anyway, these boys are just completely out of control, especially the younger three year old. They tear up the house, are loud and destructive. But we cannot say a word, it is not our house and these are not our children. They are allowed to do things I would never allow my boy to do! The baby girl, Grace, is now 8 months old. She is the baby that made my jealous child show up: I held her when she was a newborn just before I found out I was pregnant! This girl has gotten so big and it made me realize how fast infants grow and I already felt sad that my baby was going to grow up so fast -- and he isn't even born yet!

The birthday boy ended up just loving the present Golf and I got for him -- an art set with colored pencils, watercolors, markers, glue, pencil and ruler, along with four coloring books. We had no idea what to get a bit of a spoiled boy who already has everything and it turns out that the simple creative toys are the ones they always love. I know I'd love to get something like that. It was the quietest I'd ever seen this boy as he was engrossed in coloring in his new books.

So early this morning I'm having a dream that I'm called in suddently to be a substitute teacher for an American high school class: 10th grade. In the States, they're more strict and you can't just plop them in front of a video or send them to the library when you sub (this is what I'd do if I was suddenly asked to sub a class here in Thailand -- what else can I do with no preparation?) you have to teach them something in the States. Anyway, I was called in but I had to also drive the bus, so I had absolutely no time to prepare anything for the class and I had no idea what the kids were studying. Talk about feeling stressed! So I get to see a hand written schedule of some of the things they were studying -- I had to sub five periods that day, and as I tried to copy down what topics were on the curriculum, my pen ran out of ink and I couldn't continue. (I've analyzed this part of my dream to mean I feel unprepared for what's ahead -- motherhood!!!!)

So I get into class and it's utter mayhem. I can't get these teenagers under control at all. I start to take roll call and some students even get up and leave the classroom! I don't know who is who and nobody is paying any attention to me as I try to get some order to the class. I go outside the class and usher in the stray students and try to get them to sit down at their desks. After 1/2 an hour I'm still not finished with roll call and the vice principal (or some other admin person) comes in to check out the class and see how I'm doing. I'm on the verge of crying when I tell her that I haven't even finished taking attendance and the class is over half way done. She takes over for a few minutes and gets everyone calmed down, in their chairs and quiet and finishes taking roll. After that, my dream ended more or less because I didn't know what I was supposed to teach them at that point! (This part of my dream is about my utter lack of control and fearing it too -- as I saw with Golf's nephews earlier that evening. The 10th graders in my class were acting more like 3 year olds!)